\n<\/p>\n
The airport is chaos. Lines snake beyond the designated barriers and out the doors as frazzled travelers tug their luggage and scowl at their phones, their grimaced faces even more dramatic in the harsh lighting.<\/p>\n
I stand in the security queue, sensing the stress emanating from everyone around me like swarms of buzzing flies. A man behind me huffs with dramatic indignation, a couple ahead bickers in hissed whispers \u201cwe should have left earlier!\u201d, and someone’s roller bag keeps thwacking my heels.<\/p>\n
My fists clench as irritation winds me tighter. The security checkpoint seems miles away and my flight is in an hour. I feel myself being sucked into the collective vortex of misery.<\/p>\n
Then, as we make our first zig in the queue, I catch my partner’s eye and make a split-second decision. I raise my hand for a high five.<\/p>\n
\u201cYes!\u201d I exclaim with exaggerated enthusiasm. \u201cOne turn closer!\u201d<\/p>\n
My partner looks momentarily confused, then a half grin lights up his face as he slaps my raised palm. A few people nearby glance over, some with bemused smiles.<\/p>\n
When we reach the next turn, we were ready. \u201cTurn number TWO!\u201d We announce together, high-fiving with gusto. A woman behind us lets out a chuckle that seems to surprise even herself.<\/p>\n
By the third turn, a family with a toddler holds up their hands for high fives before we can even offer ours. \u201cWe\u2019re on a roll now!\u201d the dad says, grinning.<\/p>\n
With each zigzag, our celebration grows a little as others join our absurd celebration of incremental progress. Soon, a pocket of genuine laughter has formed in our section of the line, rippling outward like a skipped rock as others catch on to our game.<\/p>\n
In that moment of travel chaos, we made a choice: instead of facing the frustrating situation with tense resentment (what I now call \u201cThe Pressured Way\u201d) we decide to transform it through levity and connection (\u201cThe Playful Way\u201d).<\/p>\n
This simple shift doesn\u2019t change our situation. We are still in the same painfully slow airport security queue. We are still at risk of missing our flight. But it changes what the situation feels like\u2014from stress to humor, from isolation to community, storm cloud to sun break.<\/p>\n
This choice between The Pressured Way and The Playful Way appears constantly in our lives: during technology crashes, tricky conversations, power struggles, or canceled plans. When challenges arise, we can clench our jaws and white-knuckle our way through\u2014or we can bring imagination, inquiry, and openness to the situation. This choice isn\u2019t just about boosting fun (thought that\u2019s a welcome bonus), it’s about accessing new solutions, deeper camaraderie, and a richer experience of everyday life.<\/p>\n
Playfulness isn\u2019t one size fits all. While our airport moment involved a social game, you might express your playful side by finding beauty in the terminal architecture, creating backstories for fellow travelers, or scoring the scene with a film soundtrack\u2014turning a mundane wait into the opening of your personal heist movie or Broadway musical.<\/p>\n
The Pressured Way tightens our vision like horse blinders, while The Playful Way opens our peripheral sight to possibilities we’d otherwise miss entirely.<\/p>\n
When I talk about playfulness in adulthood, I\u2019m often met with puzzled looks. \u201cYou mean sports?\u201d people ask. Or \u201cBoard games with friends?\u201d. \u201cOh, like, work hard\/play hard… partying?\u201d<\/p>\n
But playfulness runs deeper than scheduled recreation (though that is important). It’s not a leisure activity reserved for weekends or vacations\u2014it’s a mindset that transforms how we experience everything.<\/p>\n
Playfulness is:<\/p>\n
\u2014 Finding humor and lightness even in tense moments
\u2014 Navigating situations with genuine questions instead of assumptions
\u2014 Staying open to possibilities rather than fixating on one \u201cright\u201d way
\u2014 Experimenting rather than seeking perfection
\u2014 Bringing an ethos of adventure to difficulties
\u2014 Reimagining the mundane through reframes and games
\u2014 Being willing to collaborate rather than control<\/p>\n
When we move through the world playfully, we remain pliable, ready to adapt, change, and work with whatever comes our way: to navigate obstacles nimbly and alchemize even the most mundane tasks into micro adventures.<\/p>\n
Playfulness is often dismissed as frivolous \u2014 a charming but dispensable quality best left in childhood alongside stuffies and imaginary friends.<\/p>\n
But watch any child transform a cardboard box into a spaceship or a pile of sticks into a fairy house and \u2014 beyond the cute fa\u00e7ade \u2014 you are witnessing them exercising some of humanity’s most valuable capacities: imagination, adaptation, and ingenuity.<\/p>\n
The good news? Playfulness is part of us all \u2014 it\u2019s standard issue for the human species. Even if you\u2019ve left it in the drawer gathering dust, you can pick up your playfulness again and relearn to use it.<\/p>\n
I haven’t always been able to find the high-five moments in life’s security lines. There was a time when I was deeply lost in what I now recognize as \u201cThe Pressured Way.\u201d<\/p>\n
During a particularly intense period building my first company, I found myself alone late one night, pen in hand, making a list titled \u201cWays I’m Failing RN.\u201d It contained eleven meticulously detailed items\u2014work projects falling behind, leadership shortcomings, fertility struggles, neglected friendships and family relationships\u2014each one a knife twist of self-criticism. At the bottom, almost as an afterthought, I’d written: \u201cStressing myself out with my stress and inability to emotionally regulate.\u201d<\/p>\n
I was beyond burnout \u2014 overworked and under-played. Night after night, I’d come home, collapse on my apartment floor, and sob until I was empty, unable to see any of the success around me. The brilliantly colored, creative world I’d built felt like it was happening to someone else entirely. The weight of my perfectionism had become so crushing that I couldn’t imagine a way forward.<\/p>\n
What moved me through this period wasn’t working harder or being more disciplined. It was remembering The Playful Way of life I’d learned as a child, sitting around our kitchen table in Maine with my family, brainstorming wild ideas over dinner.<\/p>\n
Our kitchen was the beating heart of my childhood home, with its cheerful painted tiles, bright green countertops, and wall jam-packed with family photos. After my brother and I helped our parents serve dinner, the fun began. My words would tumble out in excitement: \u201cHey, what if we started a kids’ karaoke club?\u201d My parents would exchange a conspiratorial glance. \u201cNow there’s an idea!\u201d Mom would reply, leaning forward. \u201cWhat would that look like? Where would we host it?\u201d<\/p>\n
Between bites of penne, my brother would chime in: \u201cWe could have themed nights \u2014 Disney songs one week, pop hits the next!\u201d My dad would smile, his laughter-creased eyes twinkling. \u201cI love it! Now what would we name it?\u201d Before anyone could answer, his fork was in the air, face lit up with enthusiasm. \u201cOoh! Ooh! Ooh! I know! Kiddieoke!\u201d<\/p>\n
These kitchen table sessions were boisterously loud, as we built upon each other’s ideas. No idea was too outrageous to explore. We were elementary schoolers doing business brainstorms\u2014and our parents took us seriously and egged us on.<\/p>\n
Eventually, we’d have to clear the table, do our homework, and return to our daily responsibilities. But in these moments, I learned that any endeavor could be handled with an inquisitive attitude and a spirit of adventure.<\/p>\n
I was fortunate to have parents who showed me that wonder and whimsy could be woven into all aspects of life. My mom\u2014a social worker, artist, gardener\u2014and my dad\u2014an entrepreneur, engineer, inventor\u2014modeled what it looks like for adults to be playful while simultaneously building businesses, dealing with illness and loss, and nurturing families and communities.<\/p>\n
My voyage of questioning took a new turn at age 15 when I found my heart fluttering like butterfly wings whenever I was around my best girl friend and realized I wasn\u2019t just attracted to one gender. Growing up Catholic, I learned that boundaries were fixed\u2014lines drawn between right and wrong, holy and profane, approved and forbidden forms of love. But my bisexual heart didn\u2019t fit into hard pews or rigid boxes, it spilled out like vivid stained glass light. Luckily my mom told me that some rules were for bending so I turned to playfulness, curiously exploring and embracing the expansiveness of being queer, rather than fearing it.<\/p>\n
This current of exploration carried me to New York City, where I co-founded and built Refinery29 from a small style website into one of the most influential digital media brands for women, reaching millions with its distinctive mix of fashion, culture, and boundary-pushing storytelling.<\/p>\n
Even in boardrooms, I carved out spaces for play\u2014like my apricot-colored office dubbed \u201cThe Peach Pit\u201d with its round table that became our magic circle for brainstorms. All the players around the table now were adults, so I had to take some extra measures to get the ideas flowing including doing physical shake breaks and having a lovingly bedazzled Taboo!<\/em> game buzzer on hand for when anyone got into excessively \u201cserious mode.\u201d<\/p>\n Our playful approach led us to create innovative experiences like 29Rooms\u2014a funhouse of culture that reimagined vacant warehouses into kaleidoscopic, artist-made wonderlands where 100,000 adults came through to frolic and fall down imagination rabbit holes in cities across the US.<\/p>\n In 2021, I found myself ready to begin a new chapter. But leaving the company I’d built over fifteen years was like moving out of a home you’ve loved \u2014 even when you’re ready to go, there’s still a bittersweet ache. Add to that the wild adventure of new motherhood and a global pandemic, and I was navigating multiple identity shifts at once. Daunting questions loomed: Who was I beyond the role I was most known for? What kind of parent would I become? What did I want to create next?<\/p>\n As I faced these huge transitions, my spirit whispered an answer: experiment! Instead of rushing to figure it all out, I turned my life into a play laboratory. I led cathartic dance parties on Zoom, created public art experiences connecting strangers in parks, took classes in improv and storytelling, and said \u201cyes\u201d to pretty much any foray that sparked curiosity. I dove deep into researching the power of play for our health and happiness, and piles of books stacked up on my desk.<\/p>\n My calendar filled up with what I lovingly called \u201cplay dates with possibility,\u201d and something magical happened: as I led thousands of people in unlocking their vibrant spirits, I discovered my next chapter \u2014 creating spaces for playful, creative practice and shared joy.<\/p>\n Playfulness is my power tool and my life preserver across all aspects of my life from parenting to self care to career. It’s how I’ve come up with innovative solutions at work, built meaningful relationships, found purpose during transitions, and made memories in mundane moments. My relationship with playfulness isn’t just about joy\u2014it’s been essential medicine for navigating life with depression, anxiety, and ADHD.<\/p>\n I’ve developed my own methods and seen the power of this approach transform not just my own life, but countless others I’ve worked with. And now, I’m on a mission to unlock that magic for you too\u2014to help you dive into that giddy river that flows when we approach life with playfulness.A new chapter<\/h2>\n
Adapted excerpt from\u00a0<\/em>The Playful Way<\/a>,<\/a>\u00a0by Piera Gelardi, and reprinted with permission from HarperOne, an imprint of HarperCollins Publishers. Copyright 2026.<\/em><\/p>\n