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\n\t\tOpinions expressed by Entrepreneur contributors are their own.\t<\/p>\n
One of the most counterintuitive lessons senior leaders must internalize is this: Stop talking about yourself. Not just in interviews \u2014 in every high\u2011stakes communication. The instinct to broadcast one\u2019s resume, accomplishments or perspective first is so universal that it feels natural. But in strategic leadership, being natural is often being ineffective.<\/p>\n
The most successful leaders I\u2019ve consulted and worked with across the healthcare, real estate, tech sectors and 20+ industries all share a common trait: They lead by creating relevance first. They then let others ask about them.<\/p>\n
To earn attention, build trust and win influence in high-stakes conversations, you have to know what the other party values. Let me introduce the value formula. It\u2019s a simple, yet effective formula (especially in communication): Value = Relevance + Contrast.<\/p>\n
Let me explain. When I mention relevance, I\u2019m talking about how relevant it is to the other party. In the context of conversations, the other party would be thinking, \u201cHow much of what he\u2019s saying matters to me?\u201d<\/p>\n
Now, there\u2019s the contrast side of the formula. What I mean by contrast is the contrast (or the difference) in value between what I expected and what I actually got. In the context of a conversation, it could mean that I go into a conversation expecting it to be boring, but turns out that the other person has tons of interesting stories, which keeps me super engaged. That\u2019s contrast.<\/p>\n
These factors of the formula are great, but when strategically combined together, they become a superpower in communication\u2026 that\u2019s influence. However, you can never reach this pinnacle of influence if you\u2019re too busy talking about yourself, rather than becoming relevant to the other person.<\/p>\n
But the question remains\u2026 how do you become relevant?<\/p>\n
Whenever I onboard a new executive or founder client \u2014 whether a CEO scaling a construction business or a medical practice expanding to different locations \u2014 I start with a consistent framework of questions:<\/p>\n
In one real example, a dental clinic owner told me she loved the high-ticket implant work but didn\u2019t like routine procedures. Understanding that preference allowed us to retool the service mix, delegate tasks and improve profitability through tailored advice \u2014 a turnaround that would have been invisible if I had led with my own credentials instead of asking pointed, relevant questions.<\/p>\n
Executives often ask: \u201cWhat should I say when I speak?\u201d The answer, based on research and experience, is actually: understand before you articulate. A McKinsey report<\/a> shows great leaders shift from problem\u2011focused queries to solution\u2011focused questions, empowering others and stimulating productive dialogue rather than defensiveness.<\/p>\n The world is awash in generic leadership advice: \u201ctell your story,\u201d \u201cshare your brand,\u201d \u201chighlight strengths.\u201d On the ground with CEOs and boards, these templates fall flat. Leaders can smell a rehearsed, canned response instantly \u2014 especially senior ones who deal every day with ambiguity and complexity.<\/p>\n Generic answers signal checkbox thinking. Authentic responses signal strategic depth. Rather than recite a pre\u2011made narrative, the best executives listen, tailor and then communicate their value by mirroring the other party\u2019s language and concerns. When you speak in the clients\u2019 terms, they see that you get them \u2014 and then naturally want to know who you are.<\/p>\n Conversational leadership isn\u2019t navel\u2011gazing. Moving away from top\u2011down monologues towards interactive dialogue strengthens organizational alignment and fuels better decision\u2011making.<\/p>\n At the highest level of leadership, your job isn\u2019t to tell \u2014 it\u2019s to create conditions for shared understanding. That\u2019s why great CEOs ask before they answer, and why boards respect leaders who inquire before they assert.<\/p>\nAuthenticity trumps generic scripts<\/h2>\n
Strategic conversation as competitive advantage<\/h2>\n
Relevance before reputation<\/h2>\n