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\n\t\tOpinions expressed by Entrepreneur contributors are their own.\t<\/p>\n
I still remember standing in the kitchen area at work, being pressured to sign that thank you card. It was National Boss\u2019s Day and my boss\u2019s executive assistant had a card she wanted us to all\u00a0sign. It was to thank our boss for being a great boss. The front of the card said, \u201cThe world needs more bosses like you!\u201d I felt sick to my stomach, barely scrawling my name inside. The irony was that this boss was one of the worst bosses I had ever worked for.<\/p>\n
My former boss was the bully boss. He reminded me of the playground bully who teased and taunted and mocked others. This bully boss also publicly and privately humiliated me. He called me a rat. He told me no one wanted me on their team but only he took a chance on me. When he found out another leader at the company wanted me to rotate onto their team, he screamed at me and said I could leave his team only when he said I could.\u00a0<\/p>\n
As some of us celebrate and honor National Boss\u2019s Day, it\u2019s an important moment to remember that not everyone has a good relationship with their boss. Some of us are struggling with a boss who undermines us, makes fun of us, and even threatens to fire us. For anyone struggling with a bully boss, here are three important steps I wish I had taken back then.<\/p>\n
When you are working for someone who is a bully, we may use power dynamics as an excuse. We tolerate things from a boss that we wouldn\u2019t tolerate from a colleague. And of course, we may be scared of losing our jobs, so we normalize this behavior. If a bully boss shuts you down, calls you names and makes inappropriate jokes, and consistently crosses boundaries, this isn\u2019t them just having a bad day. This is a pattern of bad, bullying behavior.<\/p>\n
I remember rationalizing his behavior. \u201cWell, that\u2019s just how he is,\u201d and \u201cMaybe I\u2019m being too sensitive,\u201d and \u201cThis is the price I pay to have this big title and paycheck,\u201d or \u201cHe is just under a lot of stress.\u201d Just because they are the boss doesn\u2019t mean they can behave this way. Ask yourself if you would allow a colleague to treat you this way? Chances are you wouldn\u2019t.<\/p>\n
I wish I had documented what was happening at work during this time. Some days I thought it would get better. Some days I thought I was imagining things. Some days I thought I could push through. Some days, I felt myself disappearing. My confidence was completely shaken.<\/p>\n
Document what\u2019s happening. As I discuss in my book, The Devil Emails at Midnight: What Good Leaders Can Learn from Bad Bosses<\/em>,<\/a> where there\u2019s smoke, there\u2019s fire. A boss who bullies you once will do it again and again, testing your boundaries. And if they are bullying you, chances are, they have bullied others too. Make sure to keep your documentation off your work laptop and save screenshots of texts, emails and Slack messages.\u00a0Keep a record of the facts: when it happened, what happened, if anyone else was present and how it impacted your work. You will want to use this documentation in the future if you decide to contact an employment lawyer. And, for now, you can review what\u2019s happening and remind yourself that you are not the problem. You are, in fact, the target of bullying.<\/p>\n When your boss is the bully, speaking up can feel really risky. I wish I had known my rights and I wish I knew back then silence wasn\u2019t my only option.\u00a0That\u2019s where <\/strong>Lift Our Voices, <\/a>founded by Gretchen Carlson and Julie Roginsky, is an invaluable resource. <\/p>\n3. Know your rights<\/h2>\n
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