Published March 27, 2026 03:00AM<\/p>\n<\/div>\n
A volcano just erupted below Antarctica. Tremors reverberate underneath Earth\u2019s terrain miles from the blast, prompting a massive tsunami to bury most major cities (and countries!) underwater. Dark ash fills the sky. People frantically call their loved ones just before phones become useless, and most can\u2019t find an apocalypse-proof shelter in time. Those who do, stock up on the essentials like bottled water and what becomes one survivor\u2019s holy grail: Bush\u2019s Vegetarian Baked Beans.<\/p>\n
This disaster is the main thread of Hulu\u2019s hit show Paradise, <\/i>and that lucky survivor is med student Annie Clay, played by Shailene Woodley. She hunkers down in Elvis Presley\u2019s mansion, Graceland, and does her best to fill her time reading by candlelight and eating a lot of beans.<\/p>\n
Forty-five days pass. Then 689.<\/p>\n
I can usually suspend reality for the sake of being entertained, but it\u2019s going on two years and, all things considered, she\u2019s still<\/em> in decent shape. That\u2019s suspicious.<\/p>\n Two questions come to mind while watching: How long could someone realistically survive on beans? And what would happen to your body on a bean-only diet? I interviewed a survival expert, a doctor, and a few nutritionists to find out.<\/p>\n \u201cYou can survive on them as your only protein source,\u201d says Cal Coblentz, a former survival, evasion, resistance, and escape specialist in the United States Air Force. Their nutrient roster also includes fiber, iron, folate, and magnesium, says Dr. Vikram Tarugu<\/a>, a board-certified gastroenterologist based in Okeechobee, Florida.<\/p>\n Another major benefit is that \u201creplacing animal protein with plant protein has been linked to improved longevity,\u201d says Avery Zenker<\/a>, a registered dietitian, a bonus that would seriously come in handy during an end-of-the-world situation.<\/p>\n But canned beans lack one very crucial element<\/a>: vitamin C, a nutrient that helps skin, bone, and tissue grow<\/a>, and absorbs iron so you can make red blood cells. It even helps wounds and burns heal\u2014another ability that would be really nice to have if the world ends.<\/p>\n TL;DR: Life wouldn\u2019t be great.<\/p>\n \u201cYou\u2019ll probably experience changes in digestion right away on the first day or two,\u201d says Zenker. As you\u2019re likely aware, if you\u2019ve been to any cookout ever, just even one side of beans is enough to make you gassy and regret eating them, thanks to their fiber content. But your poops, at least, will be smooth sailing, she says. Overall, this phase is pretty manageable.<\/p>\n You\u2019re probably tired of beans now, and a lack of other foods will leave your taste buds craving for something new, says Zenker. Eating just beans, according to Tarugu, is also sure to put a dent in your mood. (Knowing that you\u2019re in complete isolation wouldn\u2019t make you feel good either, though.)<\/p>\n Those easy bowel movements are now turning into what licensed integrative clinical nutritionist Meg Bowman<\/a> calls \u201cdisaster pants,\u201d aka diarrhea.<\/p>\n Because beans are filling, it\u2019ll be tough to consume enough calories, so sluggishness is almost guaranteed at this stage, says Zenker.<\/p>\n The good news: your gut is now used to being bombarded with beans, so your bowel movements will likely go back to normal, says Bowman.\u00a0 The reason? \u201cYour gut bacteria are populating and shifting and expanding to keep up with all this new fiber you\u2019re eating,\u201d says Ashley Kitchens<\/a>, a plant-based registered dietitian.<\/p>\n That 45-day mark is now looking pretty plausible. My confidence was further bolstered when Zenker informed me about Beau Miles<\/a>, an adventure filmmaker known for documenting his self-experiments, who, back in 2020, when an entirely different disaster descended upon us, ate only beans for 40 days<\/a> (191 cans to be exact)\u2014and lived to tell the tale.<\/p>\n But here\u2019s some bad news: the absence of vitamin C is now a problem. Without a sufficient amount of it, according to Coblentz, you would get sick in about one month and get scurvy a few months later. \u201cI\u2019m not a nutritionist, but I do know scurvy is very, very deadly.\u201d He\u2019s right.<\/p>\n Scurvy is a disease caused by an extreme lack of vitamin C. Early symptoms<\/a> include fatigue and joint pain. If you go too long without vitamin C, your gums could get spongy and bleed (your teeth might even fall out), you\u2019ll bruise easily, and you may develop anemia, a blood disorder marked by a low red blood cell count<\/a>.<\/p>\n For the body to function optimally<\/a>, men need about 90 milligrams per day, and women should get at least 75. In a normal world, you could get enough by eating fruits and vegetables or downing a glass of OJ. Annie was <\/i>growing some kind of purple flower when the sun came back, but that\u2019s\u2026not enough. Even if it was, if radiation got to it, she\u2019d want to avoid it<\/a> anyway, says Coblentz.<\/p>\n This is where Paradise <\/i>wants you to rely on your imagination. \u201cWe as humans historically have survived on limited diets time and time again, but \u2018surviving\u2019 and \u2018thriving\u2019 are very different things,\u201d says Kitchens. I agree with her.<\/p>\n Not only is a bean diet not sustainable for this long, Tarugu says, \u201cliving well<\/i> without major deficiencies for almost two years on beans alone is unrealistic without close medical oversight.\u201d<\/p>\n But considering Annie was on her way to becoming a doctor, out of anyone, she\u2019d probably have the best chance of survival in any situation.<\/p>\n The season 2 finale of <\/b>Paradise<\/i><\/b> comes out on Monday, March 30, at midnight Eastern time. Will you be watching? Let us know in the comments.<\/b><\/p>\n <\/div>\nThe Good and Bad of Beans<\/h2>\n
What Would Happen to Your Body If You Just Ate Beans?<\/h2>\n
After the First Couple of Days<\/h3>\n
After 1 Week<\/h3>\n
Between 1 and 6 Months<\/h3>\n
Between 1 and 2 Years<\/h3>\n