As founder, chair, and CEO of the Exceptional Women Alliance, I am privileged to engage with extraordinary female leaders across industries. This month, I spoke with Britt Ide about one of the most overlooked—and essential—leadership skills: building bridges. An engineer, lawyer, and seasoned board director, Ide has spent her career navigating high-stakes negotiations, from major deals to complex disputes.
Q: Explain “bridge building” in leadership
Ide: Bridge building is the discipline of turning tension into better outcomes. It starts with a mindset shift: Instead of avoiding conflict, welcome constructive conflict. And then use it productively. Bridge building creates win-win solutions in complex situations. It is getting to a result where both sides achieve what matters. That requires asking better questions, surfacing what is driving each party, and expanding the range of possible solutions.
Q: Why is this especially critical in high-stakes situations like mergers and acquisitions?
Ide: In M&A, the visible negotiation is only part of the story. Underneath the financial terms are emotions, identity, and incentives that can make or break a deal.
For founders, a company is not just an asset. It is something they have built over years, and it is deeply personal. Meanwhile, legal and financial advisors are incentivized to get a deal done and may not fully account for those dynamics. Executives and board directors may also have personal stakes that shape their approach.
I have seen an offhand comment from a banker nearly derail a multibillion-dollar merger—not because the economics did not work, but because it triggered a reaction that eroded trust between parties.
Q: Where do leaders get this wrong?
Ide: They focus too narrowly on terms and underestimate the human dimension.
Leaders often assume that if the numbers are right, the deal will follow. But negotiations do not break down because spreadsheets do not reconcile. They break down because people feel misunderstood, disrespected, or misaligned.
Another common mistake is rigidity. The best deals come from intentional trade-offs—giving on something that matters less, to gain something that matters more.
Q: What does effective bridge building look like in practice?
Ide: It means helping people stay focused on what they want, especially when emotions and advisors are pulling them off course.
In one situation, a founder was working to separate from a partner after a breakdown in vision sparked a serious dispute. The founder had strong legal and financial advisors, and the process quickly escalated into aggressive posturing on both sides.
They stayed aligned on outcomes and did not default to litigation by recognizing this as typical positioning, helping parties step back to clarify their objectives, and refocusing on problem-solving. The result was a settlement that met everyone’s needs at a lower financial and emotional cost than litigation would have entailed.
Q: How do you build trust when incentives and perspectives are different?
Ide: By making the implicit explicit. In complex negotiations, everyone is optimizing for something, but it is not always stated clearly. Effective bridge builders bring those drivers into the open. They clarify priorities, acknowledge constraints, and connect trade-offs directly to outcomes. For example: “If we adjust here, it allows us to move forward in a way that works for both sides.” That level of clarity reduces friction and shifts the dynamic from adversarial to collaborative.
Q: What skills separate strong bridge builders from others?
Ide: Four capabilities stand out:
- They listen for what is underneath the ask. Positions are often proxies for deeper interests.
- They are fluent in trade-offs. They know how to reallocate value across a deal.
- They stay anchored on the outcome. They do not get pulled into winning individual points.
- They remain composed in moments of friction. They do not react—they redirect.
Q: How can leaders start doing this more effectively right away?
Ide: Start by reframing conflict. Instead of seeing tension as a problem, treat it as information. When something feels stuck, ask a question rather than making a counterpoint. Slow the conversation down enough to understand what is really driving the other side.
Be explicit about the goal: What does a great outcome look like for each side? Bringing that into focus early can prevent unnecessary friction and cost.
Q: What is at stake if leaders do not develop this capability?
Ide: They lose deals they could have completed, or they create unnecessary friction that carries forward after the deal is done.
Q: What if leaders have conflicts that prevent bridge building?
Ide: Sometimes leaders have real conflicts or are too emotionally involved to be effective. For example, a founder negotiating a merger may not separate personal outcomes from shareholder interests. In these cases, strong leaders bring in a facilitator, mediator, or strategic advisor to help reset the dynamic and move toward resolution.
In complex environments, the leaders who stand out take tension and turn it into a better outcome by navigating competing priorities and the human element.
That is the power of true bridge building. It turns conflict into forward motion.
Larraine Segil is founder, chair, and CEO of The Exceptional Women Alliance.
