You’ve spent years building a robust professional network. You’ve cultivated relationships with peers, mentors, and industry leaders. So when you signal that you’re exploring new opportunities, you expect your network to perform. Yet too often, promising conversations dissolve into silence. Warm introductions never materialize. Emails go unanswered.
This isn’t a reflection of your professional standing. It’s a design problem: you’re making it too hard for people to help you. The fix is straightforward. Make it easy. Here are three ways to do so.
Ask To Write to Their Contact Directly
When you reach out to a contact seeking an introduction to a decision-maker, a common response goes something like this: “Absolutely — send me your résumé and I’ll forward it to see if there’s interest.”
It sounds helpful, but rarely is.
The fundamental problem: you’ve just handed over control of your own job search to someone with a dozen other priorities. Even the most well-intentioned contact may not follow through—because the timing isn’t right for their colleague (the chances they need your résumé at any given moment are small), because it slipped off their radar, or because the introduction they made on your behalf didn’t do you justice.
The solution is to reclaim the driver’s seat. When a contact offers to pass your résumé along, respond with something like:
“I really appreciate it. To save you time, could I reach out to your colleague directly and simply mention that I was referred by you? I’m also looking to build a relationship for opportunities now or down the road, so I would rather not forward a resume that implies I need a job quickly. Would this work?”
This proposal removes the burden from your contact while giving you control over the pitch. It also avoids the résumé-forward trap—a résumé implies “please hire me now,” when your real goal is to get an informational meeting with a decision-maker and then keep in touch for future opportunities or get additional referrals.
Half of your networking contacts will agree, and now you can use their name to gain attention: “Subject: Referred by [Contact], re: [Topic].”
But what about the contacts who want to make the introduction themselves?
Send a Forward-Friendly Email
Many contacts will respond with something along the lines of “Let me reach out to my colleague first to see if they’d be interested in speaking with you.” In that case, offer to send them a forward-friendly email.
This move dramatically improves the likelihood that they will actually follow through, because you’ve reduced their effort from 15 minutes spent figuring out how to pitch you to just 2 minutes of forwarding. You’re also improving the odds that their contact will want to meet with you, since you can include a field-tested pitch explaining why a conversation could be mutually beneficial.
The content is virtually the same as the “Referred by …” email; just start it differently:
“Subject: Introduction to Katherine Johnson, re: BigCo
Dear Rosalind,
Thanks for offering to forward my information to Katherine. As discussed, below I’ve shared my background and why I believe a meeting could be mutually beneficial.”
One important note on content: resist the urge to attach your résumé unless there’s a specific opening you’re pursuing. Instead, use your LinkedIn profile as your “low-key résumé.” The impressive content in your thoroughly filled-out profile will drive credibility without signaling desperation.
Have a Clear Job Target
Too many executives prolong their searches because they position themselves too broadly, not wanting to miss an opportunity. The problem: your network finds it harder to advocate for you when your message is watered down across multiple job targets. Worse, you may be asking your contacts to do the heavy lifting of translating your varied background into specific opportunities. That is your job, not theirs.
One client came to me after a long, frustrating search. I quickly saw the issue: she was pitching herself to her network as open to Partnerships leadership roles at Fortune 500 companies, COO roles at startups, or Commercialization roles at any company. Three quite varied targets, not connected by a strong theme, led to ineffective messaging. Once we prioritized, she re-launched her outreach with a focused, powerful pitch for COO roles at startups. Within weeks, the interviews began to materialize.
A narrow pitch may feel counterintuitive—but it’s what makes your networking more effective, since people can refer you more easily when they see you clearly in a specific role.
The Bottom Line
Your network wants to help. Your job is to make that help feel effortless—not like a second job. Write the emails they can forward, or email their contacts directly. Do the targeting they shouldn’t have to. And keep yourself in the driver’s seat. The opportunities will follow.
