Today’s work environment is more challenging than ever. With layoffs, the uncertainty that comes from the intrusion of AI, and changing codes of conduct, tempers are bound to flare up. Insults may follow. If you are a recipient of one of the six following insults, here’s how you can best respond.
1. SHOUTING AT YOU
Suppose you are in a meeting and your boss shouts at you, for example: “You didn’t hear me. I said we’d save that discussion for next time.” Don’t answer that rudeness with your own anger. That would only make things worse.
Instead, respond to the substance of his words. You might say “Fine, we’ll postpone the discussion.” The point is to detach yourself from the anger and not escalate a heated exchange.
2. CALLING YOU NAMES
It’s hard not to feel insulted when a boss calls you names or diminishes your work. My first job in the business world was a humbling experience. My boss was a terror who spewed rudeness. When I submitted an assignment, he’d find what he considered a mistake and call me “stupid.” Only once do I remember him complimenting me with “You’ve made it as a speechwriter!”
To compound those problems, one of my colleagues mimicked my boss’s style by also hurling insults at me. That workplace was a nightmare. That same colleague remarked to members of our team in front of me, “She won’t last.” I had just given birth six weeks earlier and was working hard to be both mother and assistant to the SVP.
How did I respond to these insults? I fled to the washroom and cried. That was many decades ago. Today I would advise employees to respond to such insults with more courage and say, “I don’t think that is an appropriate comment,” or, “You hired me and I am doing my best.” Or you could go off, think about it and come back to the offending manager the next day with “I’d like to talk to you about something you said yesterday.” Stand up for yourself without getting angry or defensive.
Incidentally, I did survive that job and acquired an important set of skills. But it was a difficult trial-by-fire.
